something

i’m not sure what it is… but something bothers me every once in a while.
i follow this nice lady, and recently she blogged about her depression. and it made me think of allie and how she hasn’t blogged in over a year.
and when i think about these awesome people, then something bothers me. i don’t really feel sad.. or think that i’m depressed; i just feel kinda… useless? maybe that’s not right. i feel un-useful. i think. i feel like i’m not doing enough. or i should be doing more with my life… or that what i’m doing now isn’t making a difference or leaving a mark or improving anything. i feel like i should quit my job and go work at the humane society and then volunteer at the goodman center and then foster dogs. or i should be doing something to better my career (because that certainly isn’t happening on its own), or i should remember how to be a graphic designer so i don’t feel like i could have come up with something like this instead of feeling like i wasted my time in college. or i wish i could spend all of my days with my sweety instead of waiting to get home.
without sounding egotistical (because that’s the opposite of what i mean), i’m an extremely smart, mostly funny, resourceful individual; and i should be doing something with that. i don’t feel like i am.