uncharacteristically down

i’m having trouble with my dentist appointment yesterday. the new hygienist was really upselly and seemed kind of fake nice. she reminded me vaguely of the awful boss i had at the doll factory, so it was hard to be comfortable. anyway, they did some gum root measurement something or other and discovered one of my front teeth gums is recessed to the point where they need to do a scrape root something or other? it sounds awful. and expensive.

i think i need to get a second opinion.

anyway, i met friends at the mezz afterward and had an okay time. it’s nice to be distracted, but i feel like i’m neglecting the dogs when i sit at a bar for a couple of hours. i did that enough of their life already.

i made dinner really late and didn’t get to sleep until midnight, and i still woke up at 7:30. and i almost immediately started crying. what the fuck is going on with me?

matt texted with his check in since he’s both being nice and aware of what’s going on in my brain. i asked for a phone call because i can’t text with tears in my eyes. we talked for a little while and i told him about the dentist and how i’m feeling low and how i asked a couple friends to come with me to birthday dinner tomorrow night but one (whose idea it kind was to invite rando folks) declined and i haven’t heard back from the other one. i’m not sure if i want to go by myself. a couple of weeks ago, i was looking forward to the idea of dressing up and taking myself out, but as it approaches and as my mood is not improving, it might be a terrible idea that ends with me bawling at the bar. classy.

this morning, jones wouldn’t come down the stairs (i had to pull him down) because the light grey color makes it look like a slide, so i need to get them painted and get the treads on today.

i’m also trying to coordinate cribbage with jay, a visit with kelli, and my nice friends at work are trying to get me to cancel both to go to geek’s mania (which i was actually planning on doing until my brain decided that i suck).

that’s enough from me for now. i’m sure i’ll have more to expound on later.

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