the weekend went by too quickly again. the waterfront festival kicked off a summer of outdoor events. we learned saturday morning that r’s daughter would be coming with his sister to the festival and it wasn’t a good time for me to be introduced as the new girlfriend, so we kept it pretty mellow. and by that, i mean that i walked around without them and ran into a bunch of folks that i haven’t seen since i’ve been spending time at wilson’s; i went to mickey’s by myself to get out of the sun and get some water. it was nice to see jen.
i ended up getting a pretty hefty sunburn because i had forgotten to put on sunscreen and when he offered to run back home to get it while we were waiting for breakfast, i declined the offer. i’m still not sure why i can’t accept that he wants to do nice things like that for me.
sunday was a little lazier, we didn’t even get out of bed until after 10, had brunch at mickey’s, hung out a little at wilson’s and he headed to softball practice while i came home to make food and play fallout.
merle got very close this morning. i couldn’t tell if she wanted me to stay in bed or get up for breffis… since i had snoozed too many times, i decided i should get up.
she’s really taken to rodney; she’ll lay on his lap for as long as he’ll let her. i don’t think she likes him more than she likes me, but it’s close.
here’s an unflattering picture of me but a nice one of rodney. i’m not sure if he’ll like that i’m posting this, but i’m taking the “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than get permission” route.
we shot pool again last night and i actually played really well. i think it was cuz it was just the two of us instead of other folks waiting and watching.
this weekend is the waterfront festival and i’m actually looking forward to going. i went a million years ago with kurt and joe; they had friends who lived on lakeside so we got a good view of the festivities. i remember being annoyed, but it was probably the company.
a combination of the wonderful weather, a little breathing room at work, and wanting to be with r all waking hours makes it really hard to sit at my desk and be productive. i basically just stare at the clock until 3 pm, when i leave to deal with the dogs.
this week has been a little easier since he’s up and out of the house at 6 am for work, so i don’t get too distracted in the morning.
we played pool last night and i was awful. not sure why i ebb and flow so much, but it’s annoying. his friend matt tried to recruit us to a 14-week dart league but it goes until 1030 pm and i don’t think i would be able to commit to being awake that late.
i haven’t had a whole lot to rap about lately.
work has been overwhelming and kicking my butt… however, a project i’ve been on since march just launched and it is the best feeling, getting that out in the world. there’s still a bit more to do, but we narrowly made the deadline and i can now breathe a little.
r and i had another awesome weekend that went by too quickly. we’ve been playing a lot of pool, and i did get him to play one game of cribbage after brunch yesterday.
his daughter has her first softball game of the season tonight, so i’ll have to fill in the time with some fallout, methinks.
another set of horoscopes from chani arrived this morning, since the full moon is in about 45 minutes. these two sentences stood out to me:
The beginning of June reveals something wonderful taking root in your life. A feeling of home.
The full moon come the end of May helps you to better understand, and possibly heal, a wound from your past.
the past few weeks have been pretty amazing. i don’t think i could have done the whole party by myself. i am lucky to have had r’s help, especially with the pop-ups (which is a misnomer).
we continue to reveal similarities that make us both go, “ENOUGH already.” including having both of our wedding ceremonies performed by the same person.
the party is in a week. i have the menu pretty nailed down and the shopping list is prepped. i’m feeling pretty good about it this year.
it was another stellar weekend; he had a job to do on saturday, so i slept in and had a chance to make some more biscuits for the dogs, play some video games, and hang out with matt for a second.
sunday, we lazed about and ended up at mickey’s for brunch. i was also able to get him to play cribbage at the bar (i taught him how to play last weekend). he kicked my ass again, so i’m going to stop being nice and helping him count.
we keep discovering things that we have in common. the most recent rando was that i had alexa play 90s hip hop and l.l. cool j started singing about knocking momma out and he said, “this was my very first cd.” and i almost dropped whatever was in my hand. i think i told him to stfu. in a funny way, of course.
i’m feelin’ pretty pretty pretty good lately.
a new horoscope from chani is ringing true.
Uranus has been working on you to become more authentic no matter the price. The result being that you are more likely less dependent on conventional securities than you were 7 years ago.
Your worth is not dependent on having achieved traditionally age-appropriate milestones. You have had a different destiny to carve out for yourself. You have had to traverse the unknown. Channel the unconventional. Cease to judge yourself on what didn’t get built and instead value what did get discovered.
Making plans right now might not be the most pragmatic use of your energy. What is useful to you is becoming more attuned to your intuition. As you learn to trust this way of knowing, and living, you’ll be strengthening your connection to the guides you most need to listen to.
life is being pretty kind to me right now and i have matt to thank for letting me go. he said, in explanation of the breakup, that i deserved someone who would be there for me and have a corresponding schedule so quality time could be spent (i’m paraphrasing due to not really having the mind to listen when he was telling me this).
this is exactly the comfort that’s taking place. someone around when i’m around. someone to plan and make dinner with/for. someone to watch the office with (for the 35th time). someone i’ve become immediately comfortable with after only knowing for a short time.
matt and i talked sometimes about our conflicting love languages and i’ve realized how that incompatibility may have had a greater effect on the decline of our relationship than other factors.
analyzing that right now isn’t really a good use of my time, but understanding and knowing the situation for the benefit of my current relationship has to be somewhat helpful.
that said, and i know we’re very new, the fella is astute at all five so far.
another stellar weekend on the books.
the end of a chapter and the beginning of another are distracting and transformative. it’s hard to keep my feet on the ground when i feel swept away.
things are good.
something amazing is happening.
remember when i said it would be exhausting to get to know someone new and that i’ve been emotionally numb for a while? turns out it’s only exhausting because there aren’t enough hours in the day to share stories and find out every little thing about a person. and luckily, there’s no rush.
and i’m no longer numb. or sad. i’ve laughed so much and so hard over the last week that it’s making up for the last five months of sorrow and loneliness.
an added bonus is that jones and merle are in absolute approval of him.