casting a wide net

i have a friend who i used to work with at AG that moved to california (while i was still at AG) to better her career because that wasn’t really going to happen at the doll factory. i was sad when she left, but i knew that she’d be happy. well, she certainly she’s a personal coach, outside of being a very talented business analyst (this title is what she had at AG and is probably beneath her current role) and in charge of a number of folks in at IT department.

anyway, she made time to talk to me last night on her commute home (which was 50 minutes!). it was nice to be able to get her perspective on the situation. she’s very observant and knows me well enough to know where i’m coming from. she asked questions like what is my goal, how do i feel about x, why was it so important to do y, how will i know when z happens? she asked what i missed about him being in the house and i cited the obvious “taking care of things”, etc. but i also said that i missed seeing him sitting in his rocking chair, listening to music when i got up in the middle of the night to pee. and immediately after that, i said, “but that is one thing that bothered me about him. he seemed to always just be sitting in his rocking chair. listening to music.”

i was able to communicate that i think i’m both simultaneously an awesome person to be around and a wretch physically. i didn’t use those words exactly, but that’s the gist.

she asked what she could do for me in the future and i said that i’ve been finding it really nice to hear from friends randomly asking how i am. that i have been surprised and humbled by how many people care about me even though i feel like i’ve been mostly absent from their lives.

i’m not sure how i became such a homebody… i can’t tell if it was because nora needed such constant bathroom breaks or if i felt like i couldn’t go out after work because i wasn’t supposed to or it wasn’t in support of matt’s not drinking. or maybe both.

anyway, i think that’s why i like hanging at wilson’s. there’s a din, there are people, and no one talks to me.

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