i woke up with a boy in my bed after seeing a show at the okayz corral … it was the first of many willy st fairs that i would attend; it would become the hallmark of our anniversaries. i remember my mom and george coming to pick us up as i sat on the front step with my 32oz jug of coffee and a cigarette, mildly embarrassed at my hungoverness. we dropped him off at his house on morrison before looking for a place to park the car. i’d meet up with him at the fair and have to excuse myself for a nap later on because i was exhausted. we’d plan to meet up at mickey’s for the simpsons at 7 (that was when the show was relevant and good).
we’d move in together and drink boxed wine and sit on the floor to watch movies cuz neither of us had a couch. we’d have model club at joe’s and experience 9/11 together. we’d sleep in separate rooms because of our different schedules. he’d hate that i did the dishes when there were only two or three plates. i’d watch him play softball for mickey’s, and scold him for driving without a license.
we’d get married and have a really nice tuesday wedding by the lake with parents and friends and we’d go to vegas for our honeymoon and get in a huge fight on freemont street at 5 in the morning.
we’d eat out to celebrate anniversaries and attend the fair and go to magnus a lot, stay at friends’ parent’s, be underimpressed by dinner, and finally degrade.
ten years ago today.
i can’t decide if it’s fate or irony that my divorce was final last week… i know i haven’t taken time to grieve but i think that’s cuz i did a lot of it before everything went down.
i feel taller; more confident. stronger. i can’t believe i did this… not *really* by myself, but i did it. the only tears to come lately are out of joy and happiness. what an awesome feeling.