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solitary socialization

yesterday was kind of a tough one at work, for reasons i don’t need to get into here, but it resulted in me needing to take a load off afterward. i’m not yet comfortable being at mickey’s (or the ohio) while matt is working. it wasn’t very fulfilling or relaxing for me when we were together, so i guess it’s not a surprise that hasn’t changed.

so, i planned on heading to the ohio. i invited a couple friends who either didn’t get back to me or couldn’t make it. to be honest, i’m getting kind of tired of being rejected for these simple interactions. i’m trying to get out in public so i don’t wither away in my house and am trying to make those outings more tolerable by adding in people whose company i enjoy.

case in point, i brought my five-plus half-finished crosswords with me with the intent on relaxing away from a screen and this obnoxious ass sat down next to me; i remembered him from way back at mickey’s and he’s only gotten more annoying in the past 20 years. after finding out the cook’s name is prince, he wouldn’t stfu about the musician and some vault of songs the estate is releasing. he wouldn’t. stop. talking. i was so relieved when his tacos arrived because he actually shut up for about 10 minutes.

then he did that thing that i hate; “stuck on anything?” “no, thank you.” “that’s okay, i don’t know how to do those puzzles anyway.”


i think i mindfullnessed into my happy place until he left.

then something awesome happened. i mean awesome in the way that it inspired awe and i’m still thinking about it. a loud french woman had taken over the conversation of two other men, individually, while i was sitting there being quiet. after she had scared them away/they left, she sidled over to the seat next to me and told me to be nice and be social. and that she wanted to help with the puzzle but only if there were any french clues. then she told me she was going to go have a cigarette and if i didn’t socialize with her when she got back she would kick my ass.

talk about instilling the desire to retreat further back into my leave-me-alone state.

i left before she came back and checked in with josh later; she never did.

the only thing that made the evening out worthwhile was that i got some more done on my puzzles that i wouldn’t have if i had stayed home.