i was going to post this on facebook, but not sure that i need anyone’s opinion or response just yet. i need to think and articulate better.
finding time for self-care this week has been tough after coming back to work from having birthday week off. every little daily, routine, mundane task adds up to a lot of time, leaving not much for me, myself, and i (and maybe a friend if anyone would accept my invitations for a public outing).
today has been especially difficult as i stayed home to focus on a very stressful project and the dogs were unsurprisingly needy, so i had to shut the office door. and was smacked in the face with another reminder of matt.
his robe and winter coat that he wore when we met/started becoming friends/started dating. it was just another fucking painful reminder of something that i don’t have anymore, which is a confidant.
i can tell he’s growing further away from me. less interested in my day to day, fewer “how are you?”s, colder responses to my detailed description of my crappy day(s).
and he reads this blog in silence without engaging in any retort. i don’t know why he even bothers to do that.