this is so silly… i got so furious at work today that i started crying in a meeting.
yah.
totally not like me, totally out of the blue, and totally weird. i just had so much rage and anger and frustration that i had to hold my eyes with my sleeves to keep from bawling.
you see, i heard something that wasn’t said. i can’t actually even tell you what was said immediately before i freaked out, but what i heard was, “someone thinks whoever did this can’t do their job.”
and i flipped. internally, i was raging. i had the strongest desire to punch, kick, cry, slam, and yell.
but what’s weird is that it’s not what was said, and quite possibly not even what was implied, but it’s what i heard.
the most ridiculous part is that i don’t know why it upset me. like, physically upset me in such a way that i couldn’t make myself behave with a normal reaction. which, most likely would have been, “they don’t know wtf they’re talking about. eff them.”
needless to say, i’m very glad that tomorrow is friday… i just wish i could shake the feeling of “if i quit, they’d be fucked.”
and i don’t swear on my blog unless it’s necessary.
i forgot to mention that i even left work and drove to cross plains, smoking my first weekday cigarette before 5pm in almost two years. it was lovely, well-deserved, and necessary.
