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i woke up and picked up my phone. this is the habit of a million people, i’m sure. the google home page tells me about the news that i missed yesterday after not checking a device most of the day… 20 people killed in el paso in a wal-mart. rodney says, what are you doing? i said, reading the news. some guy killed a bunch of people in a wal-mart. did he buy the gun there? he asked. i chuckled, yea probably, and tried to go back to sleep.

that’s not going to happen. so i read the nytimes article. white guy who thinks brown people are going to take over america, so he opens fire, with an automatic weapon, on folks who are JUST FUCKING SHOPPING.

i feel sick.

i can’t imagine being attacked, shot at, killed, because of my skin color. i have white privilege. i will likely never be the victim of race hate crime. i will never agree with the “president” of this country, who, without actually saying so, agrees with the masses that want to “send her back”.

i’ve been reading about, listening to, watching the history of woodstock today (50 years ago) and wish that the american people had the gumption to do that again. we need change. something has to give, and it can’t be human lives anymore. it can’t be prayed away. it can’t be thought around. it can’t be picketed against. it can’t simply be a candlelight vigil. something has to give.