a little stressed out

i don’t care for adulting about large amounts of money. the large amount, in my case, is my mortgage. i need to refinance to get a lower interest rate and a lower-term mortgage and to get a home equity loan so i can fix things wrong with the house and get a new roof and put a half-bath in upstairs. but, get this. i’m *just shy* of 80% if i use the city’s assessed value as the worth. but, if i use the magic database number from the lender and the appraisal comes in like it did three years ago, i’ll be even more stressed.

after the phone call with the lender, i got a letter stating i could refi without an appraisal, but i still need to get my friend over to give me an estimate so i know how much i need to ask for.

there should be mortgage doulas. not a financial advisor; i don’t need one of those because i don’t enough extra money to pay someone to tell me what to do with the leftover i would have if i were paying someone.

meanwhile, merley is laying next to me on the couch, dreaming with her eyes open, reminding me to stop stressing about something so relatively ephemeral.

something happened

i realized yesterday, while walking to the water cooler at work, that something’s taken place over the last year or more? i feel extra-super confident. walking the dogs, making food, making decisions at work, making decisions about the house.

specifically, i thought, “we just had a phone call with a *surgeon* and i know more about something (website building) than he does. that’s pretty neat.” of course, i then started thinking about how my friend, russell, freely admits to not knowing what he’s doing and just faking being an adult. i don’t think i’m faking, but i do make shit up all the time, hoping that it’ll turn out. it seems to be going okay so far.

in other news, my friend lance is coming over to give me a bid on a new roof and a bathroom upstairs. i have enough equity to get a decent loan and a bathroom on the second floor would be so amazing. i’ve also got some landscaping notions rolling around in my grey matter but need to get a friend in the industry to come over and tell me if i’m crazy or not (about this, anyway).