also, stress dreams

it’s been a while since i’ve dreamed about the doll factory, but last night it felt like it went on and on for hours. i remember zipper, skip and kelly making an appearance, and there was a lot of walking around the cube farm trying to find people… except, of course, it wasn’t the same layout or people. i remember waking up, feeling relieved and a little irritated.

i’m so glad i don’t work there anymore.

july is half over

and just like that, the summer is speeding right by me again.

after a bit of an incident on wednesday night, i worked from home on friday, hoping a friend could come over and take a look.

the head fireman was dumbfounded because there was no trace of the smoke bucket that had been housing cigarettes since matt lived here.

but, since there hadn’t been any rain for a week and a half, things were very very dry. we were just about to head to bed and thankfully, the neighbors were out back with their dogs and came pounding on the door after they called 911.

i’m glad no one was hurt and it seems like it’ll be okay to fix. lance didn’t sound too bad after he took a look.

so friday, i worked, we played pool on the newly-felted tables at wilson’s, saturday was the usual. we were going to head to the fete, but it was raining when we finished brunch, so we didn’t. cool story, bro!

sunday was lazy; r had his daughter’s 10th birthday party to go to, so i stayed home and made my lunches and dozed on the couch.

since yesterday

after seeing yesterday that i can take my bp down 10+ points by relaxing and breathing, i’ve been trying to be a lot more mindful of my stress level and what triggers it, at work specifically.

i know that i get triggered by notifications and the red circled number next to my email app icon and notifications from the inter-office chat program, so i’ve decided that i need to exit those two applications when i want to focus and get something done.

i need to stop feeling like i have to address every little thing the second it blinks or beeps for my attention.

blood pressure

i had my follow up appointment this morning so i drove and got there extra early so i could relax (hah!) in the waiting room. the nurse was running 20 minutes late, so i “relaxed” for 35 minutes.

the first reading was pretty high (but not as high as the last appt.) after we had been gabbing for a bit. she asked to take another reading after i told her about my anti-stress buzzy thing and how it reminds me to breathe slowly and fully. i got both numbers down 5-6 points, so we tried one more time after another five-minute break and i almost started crying because i was picturing merle and nora cuddling on the couch. after the reading, with which we were both pleased, she asked me why i looked like i was tearing up and i started bawling.

i revealed that i was thinking about my dog and how she was so sweet and calm and that i don’t think i’d really actually mourned her until today.

anyhoo, we determined my blood pressure can elevate because of stress and as long as i can keep it under control with focused breathing and awareness of boi-feedback, i’ll be okay.

but, i’m betting something will need to give.

two day work week

this morning, rodney said, “i bet you’re happy to have a friday tuesday.” and it took me a minute to realize that today is my friday this week. hopefully, i can sleep in tomorrow instead of popping up and out of bed at 7 am.

last night was another double-header softball, so i hung out at home with the dags. i wasn’t super keen on being at wilson’s by myself, and i needed to eat something cuz my half-burrito-lunch wasn’t enough sustenance.

i’m looking forward to playing pool tonight and tomorrow night and the next night and yadda yadda.