feeling weirdly

TMI warning

my hormones are making me crazy. i haven’t been able to focus on work for the past three days. my anxiety is coming back a little. my appetite is barely there. i nearly broke down this morning and thankfully matt was available for a phone call because i didn’t know what else to do.

i’m seeing my doctor next week to talk about birth control options to both try to improve the cramps and general fatigue i experience at the start of shark week and now this whatever is happening during ovulation week. i’ve noticed an increased feeling of insanity, anxiety, helplessness, and lack of focus over the previous half a year and really don’t care for it.

i am, however, apprehensive about hormonal birth control because of the significant weight/water gain and general disinterest in intimacy that i experienced at 20 with my second batch of norplant. so, i probably won’t go down a route that is that permanent for that long.

festivals and things

the weekend went by too quickly again. the waterfront festival kicked off a summer of outdoor events. we learned saturday morning that r’s daughter would be coming with his sister to the festival and it wasn’t a good time for me to be introduced as the new girlfriend, so we kept it pretty mellow. and by that, i mean that i walked around without them and ran into a bunch of folks that i haven’t seen since i’ve been spending time at wilson’s; i went to mickey’s by myself to get out of the sun and get some water. it was nice to see jen.

i ended up getting a pretty hefty sunburn because i had forgotten to put on sunscreen and when he offered to run back home to get it while we were waiting for breakfast, i declined the offer. i’m still not sure why i can’t accept that he wants to do nice things like that for me.

sunday was a little lazier, we didn’t even get out of bed until after 10, had brunch at mickey’s, hung out a little at wilson’s and he headed to softball practice while i came home to make food and play fallout.


another friday in june

merle got very close this morning. i couldn’t tell if she wanted me to stay in bed or get up for breffis… since i had snoozed too many times, i decided i should get up.

she’s really taken to rodney; she’ll lay on his lap for as long as he’ll let her. i don’t think she likes him more than she likes me, but it’s close.

here’s an unflattering picture of me but a nice one of rodney. i’m not sure if he’ll like that i’m posting this, but i’m taking the “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than get permission” route.

we shot pool again last night and i actually played really well. i think it was cuz it was just the two of us instead of other folks waiting and watching.

this weekend is the waterfront festival and i’m actually looking forward to going. i went a million years ago with kurt and joe; they had friends who lived on lakeside so we got a good view of the festivities. i remember being annoyed, but it was probably the company.

antsy pants

a combination of the wonderful weather, a little breathing room at work, and wanting to be with r all waking hours makes it really hard to sit at my desk and be productive. i basically just stare at the clock until 3 pm, when i leave to deal with the dogs.

this week has been a little easier since he’s up and out of the house at 6 am for work, so i don’t get too distracted in the morning.

we played pool last night and i was awful. not sure why i ebb and flow so much, but it’s annoying. his friend matt tried to recruit us to a 14-week dart league but it goes until 1030 pm and i don’t think i would be able to commit to being awake that late.

june already

i haven’t had a whole lot to rap about lately.

work has been overwhelming and kicking my butt… however, a project i’ve been on since march just launched and it is the best feeling, getting that out in the world. there’s still a bit more to do, but we narrowly made the deadline and i can now breathe a little.

r and i had another awesome weekend that went by too quickly. we’ve been playing a lot of pool, and i did get him to play one game of cribbage after brunch yesterday.

his daughter has her first softball game of the season tonight, so i’ll have to fill in the time with some fallout, methinks.