separation anxiety

i’ve gotten used to preparing for the times when r gets to hang out with his daughter, i plan ahead, and make sure i can occupy myself with a chore, task, or a crossword (last sunday, i mowed the lawn during softball practice).

i had forgotten to remind him that i had my monthly geek meeting last night (i founded the local wordpress meetup last year) and had to leave him for ~3 hours (which meant no pool). while i thought for 2.5 minutes about skipping and asking a co-worker to handle the setup and intro, i determined that wasn’t a responsible decision, and biked downtown—through concerts on the square traffic—to get to the meetup.

turns out that he, whether he meant to or not, has the same reaction to time away; he vacuumed. and apparently, jones didn’t have much of a problem with it.

he’s a keeper.

so i don’t forget

rodney is trying really hard to get me to realize my self-worth and appreciate my physical appearance as being beautiful, pretty, sexy, etc. (side note here: matt also did this exhaustively, but gave up because who wants to beat a dead horse for that long?) and last night, he made an observation that he can’t wait until i realize how amazing i am and how exciting it will be for him to witness.

i shockingly asked if i would be able to handle when it happens and he assured me that it wasn’t going to happen all at once.

thank goodness.

i think my chest would explode if it did.

side gig and rando update

i finally got started on the new wilson’s website last night. i can’t believe i met with jessi way back at the beginning of april. i am really glad i took notes cuz i don’t think i would remember a ding dang thing anymore.

she got me some images and content a couple weeks ago and i’ve been kind of ignoring the task since i’m busy being in a new relationship.

speaking of, in a week, it’ll have been two months. which feels like a really short amount of time and it also feels like we’ve known each other forever. so weird. does this happen to everyone? i guess the answer to that doesn’t matter.

work is finally at a little bit of a lull, so i’m able to focus on the maintenance tasks that i feel like i’m better suited to than managing specific project work. i also have a looong weekend after the fourth to look forward to, so i’m excited about that.

the dogs are both doing really well, the house is still standing, i’m happy when i wake up in the morning, and my health is good. i’m thankful.

rinse and repeat

we’ve got weekends down.

we had a great friday, lots of pool and hanging out all night. saturday morning was a little rough, but after some sustenance from the tavern, the day was beautiful and went swimmingly. after dinner (hot wings and potato salad–that i whipped up blindly) we called it an early night; i think we were asleep by 9 (it’s definitely a 180º, getting used to someone who has the sameish schedule). sunday morning, we went to mickey’s again and then to wilson’s for the cubs game. i went home and mowed the 1′ tall lawn while he took a to softball practice. i planned dinner and squeezed in a little fallout while he was gone.

i made baked salmon, a little more pot salad, and a green salad. it was pretty f*^%(ing delicious, if i do say so.

mondays are getting rougher and rougher to get going, but thankfully, it’s a gorgeous day out, so he had to scoot off to work at 6 a, while i dozed until 7:30. the rain last week kept me away from my bike commute three out of the five days, so it was nice to get on it again.

i think i’m going to pull out the batavus monte carlo that i bought in december and haven’t taken out of the house yet. maybe i’ll take a short ride around the east side this evening while the softball game is happening.

stress level: high

i got one of these gadgets to help me calm tf down and, because of a project at work that will not end, it’s been buzzing at me for weeks telling me i’m tense, that i need to take deep breaths, and that i need to get up and walk around.

i even dreamed about the f*#$ing project last night, which is wholly irritating.

my doctor appointment yesterday went well. except for my moderately high blood pressure (see above for the reason). so, i have to go back in a couple weeks to have it rechecked.

another marvelous weekend

they really do go by too quickly. i know i say that often, but it’s true.

i knocked off a little early on friday and we played pool at wilson’s… probably eight games or so? i lose count cuz it’s really just about the time. a couple of other bar folks wanted to play doubles, and they each bought us drinks, so i didn’t have to spend a whole lot.

we slept in on saturday and then did some erranding before getting food at mickey’s. then went to wilson’s for some more pool.

on sunday (father’s day), we attempted wilson’s for breakfast cuz i thought maybe it would be a little quicker, but we walked in and the place was *packed* and, while their staff is pretty keen on a regular day, we decided they probably had their hands full. so we turned right back around to go to mickey’s, which was not packed.

after breakfast and chillin’ it was time for a’s softball practice, so i headed home and took my requisite sunday afternoon nap. i woke up a little bit before my alarm and was pretty sure i didn’t want to sit on the couch in wait, so i biked down to wilson’s and r & a were there after practice, chatting it up, so i got to say hi and sit for a little bit with them.

we made unscheduled and tentative plans for me to dye her hair, cuz she wants it purple and i’m a professional.

feeling weirdly

TMI warning

my hormones are making me crazy. i haven’t been able to focus on work for the past three days. my anxiety is coming back a little. my appetite is barely there. i nearly broke down this morning and thankfully matt was available for a phone call because i didn’t know what else to do.

i’m seeing my doctor next week to talk about birth control options to both try to improve the cramps and general fatigue i experience at the start of shark week and now this whatever is happening during ovulation week. i’ve noticed an increased feeling of insanity, anxiety, helplessness, and lack of focus over the previous half a year and really don’t care for it.

i am, however, apprehensive about hormonal birth control because of the significant weight/water gain and general disinterest in intimacy that i experienced at 20 with my second batch of norplant. so, i probably won’t go down a route that is that permanent for that long.

festivals and things

the weekend went by too quickly again. the waterfront festival kicked off a summer of outdoor events. we learned saturday morning that r’s daughter would be coming with his sister to the festival and it wasn’t a good time for me to be introduced as the new girlfriend, so we kept it pretty mellow. and by that, i mean that i walked around without them and ran into a bunch of folks that i haven’t seen since i’ve been spending time at wilson’s; i went to mickey’s by myself to get out of the sun and get some water. it was nice to see jen.

i ended up getting a pretty hefty sunburn because i had forgotten to put on sunscreen and when he offered to run back home to get it while we were waiting for breakfast, i declined the offer. i’m still not sure why i can’t accept that he wants to do nice things like that for me.

sunday was a little lazier, we didn’t even get out of bed until after 10, had brunch at mickey’s, hung out a little at wilson’s and he headed to softball practice while i came home to make food and play fallout.


another friday in june

merle got very close this morning. i couldn’t tell if she wanted me to stay in bed or get up for breffis… since i had snoozed too many times, i decided i should get up.

she’s really taken to rodney; she’ll lay on his lap for as long as he’ll let her. i don’t think she likes him more than she likes me, but it’s close.

here’s an unflattering picture of me but a nice one of rodney. i’m not sure if he’ll like that i’m posting this, but i’m taking the “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than get permission” route.

we shot pool again last night and i actually played really well. i think it was cuz it was just the two of us instead of other folks waiting and watching.

this weekend is the waterfront festival and i’m actually looking forward to going. i went a million years ago with kurt and joe; they had friends who lived on lakeside so we got a good view of the festivities. i remember being annoyed, but it was probably the company.

antsy pants

a combination of the wonderful weather, a little breathing room at work, and wanting to be with r all waking hours makes it really hard to sit at my desk and be productive. i basically just stare at the clock until 3 pm, when i leave to deal with the dogs.

this week has been a little easier since he’s up and out of the house at 6 am for work, so i don’t get too distracted in the morning.

we played pool last night and i was awful. not sure why i ebb and flow so much, but it’s annoying. his friend matt tried to recruit us to a 14-week dart league but it goes until 1030 pm and i don’t think i would be able to commit to being awake that late.