full moon in pisces

it was a full moon this morning, around 7:36 this morning. surprisingly, the dogs and i all slept in. jones even came into the bed for a short while.

today’s new moon is supposed to bring a money situation, which motivated me to send an email with an estimate for the wilson’s website. i also just got an unnerving text from a friend asking if i have a room to rent for a month or two…

my friend joe is in town from cali, so i’m hoping to see him at some point during his visit. i want him to see jones before jones gets, well, you know.

i can’t believe it’s been three months since matt told me he was leaving me. i’m glad we at least got to spend midnight on new year’s together.

public meeting

i attended my first public meeting last night at olbrich. according to the presenters, it was the largest meeting they have had there and they had to get out about twice as many chairs. i saw quite a few familiar faces, so that was nice.

it was to discuss what’s going to happen with the area that you see directly across from the creek in this picture of my backyard:

it’s unofficially referred to as the “garver north platt”, and apparently, this development had already been decided upon by the board of parks commission in 2009 and the city is now getting around to doing something with it. the city has a pretty nice plan to keep and preserve the nature that’s there while cleaning up the contamination from operating the feed mill. unfortunately, there is a loud and vocal contingent that wants a 2-acre dog park included in the plan.

i say unfortunately for three reasons. one, there will be no additional parking (this part is fine by me because cars suck) which means people who don’t walk to the park will have to find parking on fair oaks or dawes (don’t get me started on the bridge they want to build connecting dawes to the garver yard). two, the draw of people to the area is going to adversely affect the wildlife and nature that live over there, and to add the popularity of a dog park which will bring more humans and perceived predators into the area won’t have a positive effect on the wildlife. three, the ground is contaminated.

and i don’t really care about the micro-lodges that will be available for short-term stays that will abut the feed mill building, but they’ll have a dog park out their back window to see, hear, and smell.

i think it’s probably inevitable, however. we dog owners can be pretty vocal about dog owner rights and i don’t have the energy to go up against the gal who’s been trying to make this happen for over 10 years.

stress-level maximum

i had intended on posting this yesterday, but it didn’t work out.

this week is already very stressful and it’s only wednesday morning. i stayed home yesterday in order to try to reduce distractions to get through an online course, and that didn’t happen.

yesterday (wednesday) was pretty awful. i nearly had a nervous breakdown. thankfully, i was able to delegate running the wordpress meetup to co-workers because i didn’t think i could handle it. turns out, i was right. apparently, the television in the meeting room had had enough and failed, so they had to wheel in a temporary replacement. i think i would have popped.

instead of subjecting myself to that, i finished up the work day and headed to wilson’s. it’s like being anonymous in public. i do my crosswords, watch the old guys play sheepshead, listen to the sports din, watch really awful tv commercials with the realization that people actually believe a cream will make their face tighten up so they look younger.

i came home and kicked on the oven. i’ve been making roasted chicken and veggies most evenings, it’s easy and cheap.

tonight, tho, i need to go to a community meeting at olbrich from 6-8 to speak my mind about a proposed bridge from garver to a bike path that cuts through ob sherry. so, i need to consider a quicker meal that isn’t delivered.

life in markers

if you look closely at someone’s fingernails, you can tell a lot about the person wielding them.

i can see, very specifically, the times of great stress over the last two/three months in mine.


one more thing

i am still on the daily yoga streak. i finished up day four this morning. i almost wanted to give up but had to keep telling myself that i’m not going to get better by not doing it.

i also think i need to plan another goop detox. it might be a little easier now, with my new in-office work times.

this one went too fast

friday night came and went. i had really wanted to get out of the house but the weather is at that in between where it’s pretty nice during the day but once 5 hits, it dips and i really don’t want to go back out in it.

saturday morning, matt and i had plans to meet at daisy for brunch, so i got up, walked the dogs, tooled around, and decided to walk since we’d be walking back to the house (he needed to pick up some stuff and i wanted to talk about our relationship some—which i didn’t really get to). i knitted while he tried out a video game that is really hard. i got to see him beat a couple levels, so i know that it’s not impossible.

we tidied up the basement a little, where he had seemingly given up moving things and left them all strewn about.

he hugged me and left. i think that’s what i miss the most is having his support after a long day or a frustrating meeting or just a hug when i wake up or get home. his hugs really are the best.

after he left, i had to get some work done. i’m heading up a project this week on a new cms (sorry, wordpress! i won’t quit you, tho). so i’m taking an online crash course to learn said new cms for about four hours.

i had intended on trying to get out of the house again on saturday night, but did not want to deal with wilson’s during the final four game so i talked myself into staying in again. i made pan-fried catfish tacos for dinner, which stunk up the house. i don’t think it was worth it. i also started and finished one season of a show called getting on, which speth told me about.

sunday i got up and went to brunch at mickey’s, josh and i had a rubber match of cribbage to settle up. he won by about ten points, so that made him feel good. when i got home, i desperately needed a nap, so i slept for a couple of hours and then got up to make lunches for the week and hang out with the dogs.

i worked a tiny bit more on sunday and then decided i didn’t want to think anymore, so i continued the office and knitting until i got sleepy.

and now it’s the last week of march. wednesday would be our eight-year anniversary. that day feels like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time.

the best intentions

nearly two years ago, on the dot, i bought the 21-day yoga body course from the daily om. i didn’t complete the 21 days, i’m not even sure i made it a week.

well, i decided to start it again this morning because i was up at 5:30. i’m hoping it’ll help me stretch and strengthen my core and, at the very least, make me feel the best i can on a given day.

i’m also way less flexible now than i was just two short years ago.

don’t want to forget

as i was sitting at the pub on saturday morning, playing cribbage with josh, he went out to smoke or something and this gal came by, gushing about my chest tattoo and what does it mean and she apologized cuz she has tattoos and doesn’t like when people ask her what they mean. and then she saw my handkerchief and said, “are we soul mates?!” as she showed me hers, attached to the same right-side belt loop. and then she said i was beautiful and walked back to her breakfast mate.

growth and learning

at the end of a meeting today, i mentioned that i should “get home for the dogs” (which basically means, “i’ve been away from home for too long”). the female coworker with whom i was meeting asked how my “newly single” situation was (i’d mentioned something in a chat about my perforated work schedule) and we talked for a little while.

right before i stood up, i said, “well, i got through the story without crying, so i must be doing better!” it was surprising how much she understood without me really saying a whole lot.

i had said that i was journaling my feelings and mood and noticed a marked difference in the last two days. it may be the time change, and it may be the moon. it may also be that last week, i stopped carrying a couple of coins from when matt and i first got together. they’re icons from the beginning of a story that we both stopped telling and i feel like maybe they’re just a sad reminder of a pair of people from a different time and a different place…

and, now i’m crying, so, i guess i’m not over anything yet.