remember when i found the image of those awesome brown boots? and i was all “i’ll never wear them but i want them” and then i realized how expensive they’d be because of all of the grommets and leather.
well, i found these on ebay and wore them on monday:
my feet *still* hurt.
in other news: i’ve brought my lunch each day this week, for a total savings of at least $20.
all iphone games played in the same orientation when the device is held horizontally, and i wish they’d all use the same volume levels (e.g., *not* the ringer volume, but the speaker).
it’s been six months; sometimes it feels like it’s been years, and sometimes it feels like minutes. thank you.
i had another panic attack at lunch today. i know they’re totally gastro/blood sugar related cuz i haven’t been consistent in my evening meals lately, and my hormones are askew cuz of, well, you know, life.
i had gotten about four bites into my tuna gyro when i started shaking, unable to hold my fork. so there i sat, sweating, shaking, and tapping my foot (the only motion i can seem to muster as one is occurring), while my dining partner looked across the table, concerned and helpless. oh, to boot, there was a VP from work sitting at the table right next to us, too.
there’s nothing that makes them go away except time. well, one thing did help a little. i texted matt, “i’m having a panick attack at hubbard :( please say something nice.” and he came up with lots of nice things for me to think about and eventually, i was ok enough to slide my uneaten food into a take-out container without dropping my plate on the floor.
i guess it’s likely to be stress-induced as well. i’ve been mildly freaking out about money lately (i really should stop that), and work has been uninspired and boring, and i’m sleeping too much or too little, and i don’t feel like i’m being very productive.
thanks for letting me vent.
i get almost all of my bills electronically… and i use my inbox as a to-do list. once a month, the only things in my inbox are bills… it’s like a virtual nagging pile of paper. it kinda stresses me out.
jones met up with a skunk on monday night. it was, quite simply, awful. it will be the topic of my next comic (today hopefully) over at alsotooaswell.
also, the ennui at work is on the right side of unbearable.
that last post was kinda depressing; sorry about that.
we had an awesome weekend, albeit a little more nappy and sleepy than i’d like. we had a pretty lazy friday and a couple friends over for poker on saturday. we were supposed to go to a housewarming party but ended up napping til 9pm(!).
my deck attacked matt’s rear bike tire, so that’s at revolution waiting to be repaired. it might have been luck, tho, since his derailleur has been giving him grief for a while.
i didn’t plan well for lunch today, so i’ll likely be getting subway again.
i woke up with a boy in my bed after seeing a show at the okayz corral … it was the first of many willy st fairs that i would attend; it would become the hallmark of our anniversaries. i remember my mom and george coming to pick us up as i sat on the front step with my 32oz jug of coffee and a cigarette, mildly embarrassed at my hungoverness. we dropped him off at his house on morrison before looking for a place to park the car. i’d meet up with him at the fair and have to excuse myself for a nap later on because i was exhausted. we’d plan to meet up at mickey’s for the simpsons at 7 (that was when the show was relevant and good).
we’d move in together and drink boxed wine and sit on the floor to watch movies cuz neither of us had a couch. we’d have model club at joe’s and experience 9/11 together. we’d sleep in separate rooms because of our different schedules. he’d hate that i did the dishes when there were only two or three plates. i’d watch him play softball for mickey’s, and scold him for driving without a license.
we’d get married and have a really nice tuesday wedding by the lake with parents and friends and we’d go to vegas for our honeymoon and get in a huge fight on freemont street at 5 in the morning.
we’d eat out to celebrate anniversaries and attend the fair and go to magnus a lot, stay at friends’ parent’s, be underimpressed by dinner, and finally degrade.
ten years ago today.
i can’t decide if it’s fate or irony that my divorce was final last week… i know i haven’t taken time to grieve but i think that’s cuz i did a lot of it before everything went down.
i feel taller; more confident. stronger. i can’t believe i did this… not *really* by myself, but i did it. the only tears to come lately are out of joy and happiness. what an awesome feeling.
in my morning haze, i whipped together a fake-bologna, fake-cheese sandwich with the proud intention of saving a few bucks. it now seems wholly unappetizing, therefore i will be getting my noontime sustenance from subway.
i’ll eat it tomorrow, i promise.
i forgot i had this cool app on my phone (i wonder if it’d be as awesome on the ipad?), so i drew mona lisa:
i have a problem … i have a strong attraction to food organization implements and accessories.
i tried three years ago, to start bringing lunch to work, and i used the bento craze that had begun as an excuse to buy a really expensive and awesome rice cooker, along with a mr. bento food containment system. i also have a laptop lunch set for when i didn’t want as much food as the mr. bento holds. in addition, i have a couple japanese bentos which i haven’t ever used.
i’d like to try again. i spend too much on eating out for lunch; even tho subway is cheap and yummy, it’s still an expense that i don’t need to have. so there it is, my new me resolution.