oh yea!

the whole reason i came to make my last post was that i’ve been feeling kinda lame that i let the weather dictate my evening plans.

i go back and forth, though. i’m glad i’m spending more time with the dogs, cuz i know jones isn’t going to be around forever, and i don’t want to get all rain-geared up (or not) to sit at mickey’s or wilson’s with wet clothes on. but i need social interaction to remind me that i prefer being at home anyway.

my consternation about it today is that this is the start of birthday week and it’s shitty out so i’m sitting on my couch blogging (on my new-to-me macbook air that i bought from work omg it’s so smol and awesome).

slept okay

thanks to the muscle relaxer, i slept through, but woke up at 5:30. i started work around 7, so the schedule of the day shifted greatly.

i had planned on working from home because the weather was predicted to be 38° and rainy (my least favorite, if you recall) so i scheduled picking a friend up to come over and fix the stairs leading up to the bedrooms.

the second and third risers appeared to be held in place by nails and caulk (maybe they all are?):

i wanted to get them flush back up because i’m going to paint them and put carpet treads on. i think that’s why jones has stopped coming upstairs to sleep, cuz he might slip on those stupid plastic treads.

i can’t believe it’s taken me nearly 11 years to start this project. anyway, the treads are gone, the risers are flush, and i get to make a trip to menards tomorrow to get primer and caulk. i should probably locate the paint scraper unless that went with matt and the toolbox.

oh, yea, i also need to get a toolbox. i have one from my dad but i don’t think i want to use it.

ugh

i torqued something in my back today. i don’t think it was from yoga, but maybe.

in any case, i made the decision to take a muscle relaxer tonight… so that means an early bedtime, and a groggy morning.

ugh.

fake it til ya make it

my friend (and former boss at the doll factory) russell would frequently say that he was just faking [whatever it was], even tho it seemed like he always had shit under control. that was about eleven years ago and now i think i know what he meant.

matt asked me how my day was going today, and i think my response summed up my version of russell’s quip.

i don’t know… some days i feel like i’m just running around and being ineffectual and unsure if i’m actually contributing. today is one of those days.

i think it might help that the current boss is going to try to have monthly half-hour meetings with the individuals on his team. he’s good at giving positive feedback, so it’ll be nice to have those interactions to look forward to.

uff duh

gno kicked my o-l-d butt. i couldn’t get a nap in before going out, so i was on ike’s already. but it was super to see all my old raver friends, and to dance for a while.

aunt flo had paid her visit late friday night so by the time i woke up on saturday (after another 5-hour sleep) i was running at about 30% effectiveness.

instead of walking the dogs and laying back down, i went to mickey’s for cribbage brunch and a surprise friend showed up so i stayed longer than intended. i got home around 1230 and laid down and missed a costco run with mom :(  she said she had one of the last carts available so it sounded like a blessing in disguise for me that i missed it, but i still feel badly.

i got up around 4 and did my journal spread for next week, read my new cooks illustrated, and played fallout for the evening.

i skipped yoga yesterday for the first time in two weeks, but convinced myself to do it this morning.

today’s lesson is “make each moment count.” and the quote that stood out to me is this one:

The very centered and present Buddha taught us that all suffering is caused by wanting to be closer to or farther away from where you are right now.

matt would always tell me never wish time away when i would say “i can’t wait for the weekend.” i guess that’s about the same.

being in the present is hard for my brain which is very focused on time and numbers and little milestones that need to happen each day.

but, i’m trying.

gno!

a million years ago, i used to gather gals together for girls’ night out plus aaron plus matt. eventually, spoil ended and the inferno closed and got torn down. a metaphor perhaps?

well, my long time raver buddy brett is throwing down old school tonight at connections on e. wash, and i’m excited to be able to be part of it.

some of the girls are coming out, too. it should be packed with some of my long-time friends from parties of yore. i’m sure discussion of furthur will come up. i didn’t hop on the bus when tickets went on sale last sunday. i’m not sure if i want to go this year. without someone to watch the dogs at home, it adds complexity. and i kinda want to remember last year as a great time that it was.

oh, right, i forgot why this post was important. i’m going to need to find time to nap before going out, especially since i woke up at 5am.

i just realized

folks would check in with me regularly to see how i was doing… but that’s mostly dropped off. my old pal john b messaged me last week to see how i was and i nearly lost it cuz i realized hadn’t heard from anyone in a while checking in on me.

the only person that still asks how i’m doing is matt.

something is working

i just looked in a mirror (which i typically don’t do), smiles, and said, “okay, you’re kinda cute.”

baby steps.

dreary day

this is my least favorite biking weather; 32° and rain. it also means that i won’t want to leave the house when i’m done working this evening. which is fine, i guess; i’m getting used to the routine.

i typically get home around 3:30, jones begs for a walk until about 4, then we go for a walk, i work until about 5:30 and then feed the dogs and clean up the dishes from last night’s dinner. i knit for a while on the couch until 6:30 and then start dinner. i knit and watch the office while dinner is cooking. then i eat, knit some more, and go to bed when i get tired.

lame.

chatty today

i guess being chatty is better than the alternative.

i have slowly been chipping away at long-held debt and, last month paid off a credit card on which i’d been carrying a balance since before my divorce, but most of the debt was incurred from the amount i agreed to pay kurt for the house equity. thankfully, the house hadn’t appreciated more than 6k, so he got 3.

anyhoo, that’s not the exciting news of today. the news of today is that i just paid off my student loans!

i graduated in the summer of 2001 and finally paid off the loans that got me through college, bought millions of art supplies (some of which i still own), many sushi dinners at tonton (i know, this was not necessarily a good use of the money, but come on, i was a kid). finally, paid off.

now i can focus on the relatively large (to me) balance on the amazon card and i think i can be down to one debt (the mortgage) by the end of 2018; barring any unforeseen situations that i hope don’t happen.