weird

i had a really strange dream between snoozes this morning.
i was standing on a blow-up pillow in a creek with some people (braulio, nick from upstairs at mickey’s, and some other vague faces) and my old boss was standing on a bridge taking our picture. he came down to get into the water and lost his balance and dropped the camera in the creek. i quickly grabbed it and said, “get it into a bag of rice!” at that point, it turned into a big video camera.
we got out of the creek and walked to the nearby house where i apparently lived… i found a bag of expensive rice (really? does that exist?) and said, “don’t use this, there isn’t enough and it’s not cheap.”
and i went to do something else and came back to a glass bowl filled with the rice and the camera, barely covering half of it and i got livid. i was screaming and calling him names and then i woke up.

wot!

i forgot to tell you that we got a kitty!
a friend is moving and couldn’t keep his cat… so one day at lunch, he told me that he was planning on taking him to the humane society and i said, “why don’t you put up a sign here at work?” and then i said, “wait. matt wants a kitty. why don’t we take him?” and so it was.
alexander.jpg
his name is alexander tiberius great and he’s a super-sweety. he likes to come upstairs at night and sleep on the back of whichever one of us is on our tummy. he lays on the living room floor and stares at the birds but doesn’t seem to want to eat them too badly. he poops in his litter box and gets cuddly when we’re home. the dogs don’t seem to mind him and he completely ignores them… this morning, all three of them stared at us from the bottom of the bed.
it was almost a cuddle puddle, but i had to get up and get ready for work.

bleh

i have been *so* tired lately. i usually count my snooze alarms, but this morning, i went two past normal. i’ve been having really weird dreams and not sleeping so well. especially since it’s nice and cozy and dark when my first alarm goes off.
at least i have a three-day weekend to look forward to; i have an appointment on friday, so i took the day off. if relevant, i’ll tell you more later.
the dogs have stopped pooping in the living room, so that’s nice. i think they got a bug or something from either the new bird, or a dog that visited our labor day party. they’ve had their fair share of rice in the last couple weeks, and it seems to have helped.
the birds are doing well. i still don’t think it’s a good idea to put them all in one cage, but we’ll see.
matt took care of a lot of outside stuff yesterday, which was so nice. he cut up the part of stacy that fell (from the labor day saturday morning storm) and saved some branches for next year’s cucumber trellis; he also removed a non-lilac tree that was growing out of the lilac. it makes the front of the house look weird, but it didn’t belong.
my kombucha-brewing is going well… i need to process a batch tonight. both vessels have huge, multi-layered mothers in them, so it looks cool.
my lower back has been bothering me a lot this week. i can’t put a finger on it, but it might have something to do with why i’m so tired.

*breathe*

another week is almost over… tomorrow is the 17th of september; it would have been my 9th wedding anniversary. i’m glad it’s not.
the willy st fair is this weekend… i think we’ll make an appearance on saturday; hopefully the weather cooperates. it’s been so cold! i don’t remember it getting to frost in september in a long time. we’ve covered the tomatoes for two nights now, very few of them are changing color. i hope we don’t have to can green tomatoes. i am not much of a fan.
i’m excited for the cold nights and cuddling on the couch… the chilly bike rides and trying to decide if it’s not too icy to bike, the dogs “swimming” in the snow.
i’m *not* excited for shoveling.
we caught our neighborhood green heron (fondly nicknamed “steven”) hanging out by the bridge recently:
steven.jpg

ugh

i have been having a panic attack since i started getting ready for work this morning. i can’t concentrate and i keep getting waves of nervous warmth followed by slightly sweating and shaking. i can’t identify specifically what the problem is, but it’s triggering a flight instinct and i really just want to go home. i’m feeling completely unproductive and useless. i keep clenching my jaw which is giving me a headache. my back is tense and my left thumb and pointer finger are tingling.
in other, happy news… we went out for sushi on friday and ended up getting free sake and some extra sashimi pieces. i don’t know if it was in error, but it might have been because i pointed out a hair on one of the hand rolls that was on its way to the dining room.
the weekend went much too quickly.

no-plans weekend

we’ve got nothing planned for tomorrow, so i’m looking forward to sleeping in. i’ve been having a heck of a time waking up all week… just wishing for 30 more minutes with my eyes shut. i have developed a snooze habit that i’m not sure is working any more. i used to set an alarm and wake up, shoot out of bed, and get ready for the day. but now i snooze at least four times every morning. i don’t think it’s good for my mood.
but! it’s friday, making me a little more tolerant of the day.
the birds are tweeting along nicely. i think davinci is happy just hearing other birds up close. i’m not sure if we can even get any of them to stay on our fingers long enough to put them all in one cage. maybe some day, we can take the tops off and let them fly about and see if they end up cohabitating.

ennui

it’s settling in again… it’s been a while, so i guess that’s ok. i’m feeling pretty unfulfilled at work. i feel like we all (the three of us that share a job title) just move content from excel spreadsheets and word docs into html files; it’s mind-numbing and disappointing.
this morning, i woke up thinking about all the different types of projects we work on and the 800 interfaces we have to deal with to get any one of them completed… and how no one else really understands the tedious complexity any one little thing ends up turning into.
ok, i’m done with that.
on a better note, tomorrow marks my first annual divorced anniversary. technically, it wasn’t final-final until i filed the last bunch of papers, but it was the day i faced a judge in the courtroom by myself… matt came with me, and for some reason, i wanted him to stay in the hall and wait. i kinda regret that decision now, but i think i was embarrassed and didn’t want him to see me being granted the freedom that i had waited 6 months (plus a lot more) for.
*shrug*
in any event, we’ll be celebrating with some sushi tomorrow, hopefully.

tired of apologizing

i should make more of a point to write in my blog… i really have no reason not to, other than i’m not sure i have much to say of interest.
the storm on saturday morning took down half of one of our trees… stacy (the tree) had split near the base form a storm last year, and george kindly came over to bolt her back together, but it wasn’t enough to withstand the winds from the storm.
the labor day weekend party went really well, considering the weather. a friend brought over a tent that we all sort of huddled under until around 5, when the rain finally let up. i had baked a cheesecake but had to cool it in the fridge and forgot to bring it out, so mickey’s kitchen got a gift on monday. braulio put it in the walk-in and had attached a note, “feel free to eat, becky made it so it has to be good.”
in other, unrelated news, the dogs have been pooping in the livingroom for the last three days. we can’t figure out why… it was abnormal the first day, but doesn’t seem to be that different recently. jones knows what he did was wrong cuz he looks embarrassed, but that doesn’t seem to keep him from doing it. :/
also, the cranes came back to work again yesterday:
cranes2.jpg