before i forget

i want to get some fimo with which to make earrings. since i’ve stretched to a 2 gauge, i’ve bought a couple different pairs of danglies and tunnels, but would like more and don’t want to spend a million dollars. plus, it’ll be fun.
a friend of mine used to do this (maybe she still does?) and i bet i could get advice from her.
*edit: nvm, i guess polymer is frowned upon when used in direct contact with skin for periods of time.

i was thinking i should hop on one of those “write something, anything, once a day” bandwagons; but that seems kind of forced, and trite. a haiku a day would be less forced, but it’s been done.
maybe i should paint something-a-day, or draw, or photograph.
or maybe i should stick to trying to roll my ass outta bed and get to work on time.

scratch off

i totally forgot to blog about the lottery yesterday. and if you’ve never read it, you should. right now.
also, i’m in a good place today… even tho getting up and out of bed was the opposite of what i wanted to do. we’re given quite a few vacation days here at work, so i’m going to add to the long weekend by taking thursday off as well. i’m determined to enjoy this summer as much as i can, since the last one was spent largely in a car on weekends to kenosha and back. i’m not saying i regret the time spent, just glad i don’t have to do it again.

todo

things i need to accomplish at some point:
obtain ramones and calexico music for my ears
pick up finnegans wake again
talk to ben about my roof
get a replacement tube thingy for the grill
get frontline and heartguard
re-grout the tub!
also i have to start thinking about colors for the bathroom.

late nights

this weekend went by quickly… i closed the bar on friday night, which resulted in a late morning. i don’t think i got out of bed until noon. then, last night, i was invited to see the melvins for free. i couldn’t pass up a free show, but that meant i didn’t get home until after midnight. two nights of rocking out meant i didn’t completely roll out of bed until about 1:30 today. the dags weren’t too excited, but a prompt walk took care of that.
woodmans was kind of annoying but i ran into my cousin and his girlfriend, so that was a pleasant surprise.
i’ve been maintaining a good balance of sanity; i’ve had only a couple pangs of panic lately. i think i need to learn how to meditate. i’ve never tried it and i’m not convinced i’d be very good at it, but i think i could learn.

encouragement

probably in a response to my previous entry, my mom sent me this excerpt:

… i would like to beg you, dear sir, as well as i can, to have patience with everything that is unsolved in your heart and to try to cherish the questions themselves, like closed rooms and like books written in a very strange tongue. do not search now for answers which cannot be given you because you could not live them. it is a matter of living everything. live the questions now. perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, one distant day live right into the answer.
—rainer maria rilke, in letters to a young poet

i need to continue to live today and not wish time away.
also, having recently read an article about curbing spending, i think i need to recognize when i become hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, and make adjustments to rectify that in order to continue to have clarity in thinking and judgment.

miscellaneous update

iphones are getting their new os today (except the original version). i can’t wait to have the use of folders to organize apps. as it stands right now, i think i have 7 extra home screens filled with apps that i can’t get to (because there’s a limit of 12? dumb.)
other news: my mood has been rapidly fluctuating since yesterday afternoon. i keep freaking myself out about decisions i’ve made and my plan for the (monetary, health, emotional, spiritual, barometric) future.
the house is still in a barely acceptable state of disarray because 2nd roommate hasn’t found a suitable place yet, so there’s no point in putting things where they go because they’ll either be moved or in the way and i don’t even know whose belongings are whose.
stress does weird things to my body… i’m currently suffering from one of my versions of stress that causes a subluxation in my neck, which in turn creates pressure on a nerve which makes my left thumb tingle/go numb for periods of time. i can’t decide if i can tolerate better than other, less persistent but embarrassing and painful symptoms of stress; i really would like them all to go away and never come back (i read that in the voice of gollum).
on a good note: i grocery shopped hungry yesterday and got foodstuffs that will encourage me to eat dinner at home. yesterday, for both lunch and dinner, i made roasted poblano pepper wraps with roma tomatoes, onions, and pepper jack cheese.
if i could eat all meals in, on, or around a tortilla, i would.

surprisingly

it’s 3pm on sunday and i haven’t napped yet this weekend. i guess i haven’t felt like it.
friday was spent biking around, visiting a couple favorite establishments. i had a moderately early night; but not before watching as much of shawshank redemption over netflix on my ipad as i could. but i went and did something mildly embarrassing… i fell asleep with my ipad on my bed, next to my head. :x
saturday i spent almost 5 hours at a family reunion. it was a great time. i hadn’t seen most of my extended family in at least 10 months, if not more. there was a feeling of calm as everyone offered their support and encouragement for my recent choice.
when that was done, i headed to the tavern to see matt and was promptly swept up by kate to go to the victoria’s secret semi annual sale. i had mixed feelings since a) it’s in the mall and b) the last time i went to “the secret” was to get intimates for my wedding.
(sorry, i got distracted by the internet and also took a shower)
so i ended up finding out that i know my bra size (most women wear an incorrect size) and walked out with two fancy new bras.
today’s been spent at the dog park, woodman’s, and laughing hysterically at hyperbole and a half. oh, i also got to barter with a neighbor who is a massage therapist.

tgif

i’m reaching here, but a billion years ago, i used to participate in a fridayfive blog content generating thing… it’s been a while since i’ve reused one, but i’m taking one from june of 2006. so, here goes:
1. what’s one thing you’ve done this week to help someone?
i tried making someone less crabby last night. it didn’t really work, but i tried.
2. what are two things you’ve eaten recently that you don’t normally eat?
veggie burger (from the wisco–they’re quite good), sauteed veggies and soba noodles (from the efforts to eat at home)
3. what are three things you’ve tried doing better?
living, eating, loving
4. what are four things you do habitually every day?
wake up, cuddle, smile, laugh
5. what are five things you will do this weekend?
more cuddles! family reunion, dog park, nap, laugh

profound self-realization penned

i have slowly come to realize that for the last (nearly) ten years, i’ve ignored myself because of who i chose to be with; i got complacent.
whoah. that stings, bob. reading that sentence makes me exhale deliberately.
recently, i’ve been antsy and anxious and feeling like i need to do something; make something beautiful, create anything, keep up with this blog so in ten years, i can look back on someone who made a decision (with help and support) to be happy and did something with that energy.
i went to college to design things and i haven’t done anything remotely visually interesting in at least 8 years. knitting doesn’t count.
bah.
side note: i discovered today that i can go down a watchband hole. it reminded me how skinny i was/got when i left my last serious partner.