hmm

i was going to put $50/two weeks into savings because of the money i’m not spending on cigarettes… but i think i might have to spoil myself with this windbreaker instead.
so, i bought the windbreaker. i also ordered a small token to give to kurt for vday.
i would like to make this vanity tray for some reason, but i know i’d never use it; though, it would make a nice gift.

also

i always wanted to do a three-day juice fast, but didn’t want to stop smoking for three days (and smoking during a detox seems ridiculous… even more so now); so maybe i’ll do one soon.
and, i found this recipe for smoked lox sandwiches that looks awesome.

*hack* *cough*

i took a sick day yesterday… i started getting a sore throat around 2pm on sunday… came into work with sinus drainage on monday, and by monday night, i was hacking. i haven’t been go-to-the-dr. sick in five years, and nothing fell into the list, so i decided to sleep it off. i finished another plarn bag (pics to come), and took a long walk with the dags.
back to work today…

i won’t lie

allen carr says to avoid gaining weight after quitting, you shouldn’t change your eating habits at all. i would be lying if i told you that was the case during my last two weeks… i’ve been slightly more snacky; whether it’s as a result of wanting to have more meals at home, or a reaction to a craving. if it’s the latter, i’m not doing it consciously. as i’ve said, i haven’t really experienced a craving bigger than, “me, two weeks ago, would have had a cigarette before/after/during that.”
i have noticed a slightly larger muffintop, but i presume once the warm weather comes around, it’ll be easy to get rid of.

cleaning

i haven’t done much of it this weekend… i’ve been experimenting with my rice cooker; took a trip to south park street to check out yue-wah, and determined a) i don’t like umeboshi and b) whytf can’t anyone accelerate on onramps?
i worked on my braille lesson six, and should hopefully have a 100% correct version to send to my instructor by the end of the weekend.
today, i’d like to clean the coffee maker and come up with something made from shrinky-dinks that will make me a million dollars.
also, i’ll be celebrating two weeks without a cigarette.

11 days later

the pandemic has spread! i have friends and a husband whom i never thought would even consider quitting; and some of them have recently. that makes me happy.
part of the reason smokers don’t want to try to quit is that they’re told it’s hard and that 95% of cold-turkey quitters smoke again within the first year and you suck and yadda yadda. so they’re already set up for failure and say to themselves, “why bother?”.
the myth that it’s hard needs to be dispelled. i know it’s only been 11 days, but i have had bigger urges for sushi in my life than for a cigarette in this short amount of time.

time

allen carr was right. he illustrates the smoker as someone who’s just counting down the minutes (hours, days, whatever) until the next cigarette. why would someone wish their life away in order to simultaneously destroy it? i just sat through a two-hour movie and not once did i wish it were over so i could get outside and smoke. i may even enjoy movies in whole pieces now, imagine that.
it’s been almost eight whole days and i feel great. the only disappointment i have in myself is that i didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t do it sooner.

idk

imagine staring at a kid holding an ice cream cone that appears to be the flavor you love. you don’t really eat ice cream anymore.. cuz it kinda upsets your stomach and sweets really aren’t your thing.
then imagine tackling the kid, stealing his cone, and running away maniacally with cone in hand. that’s how nicotine cravings feel. it’s amusing to a point… the tough part, or so i’ve heard, is when you lose the gumption to put up with the imagination (that’s 2 weeks from now).
half of me wants to tackle that kid and rip the ice cream out of his hand, and the other half wants to shove the cold substance into his face so he gets a headache and never eats the ice cream again.

five days

well, a little shy of.
on fridays, work finishes at 1. i was worried that i’d be twiddling my fingers all afternoon, but i seemed to fill it up. we went to the dog park for a little while, and then came home and i had a craving, so i vacuumed. and then cleared a cupboard of expired crackers, etc. we really need to pay more attention to our purchasing habits.
i told a friend, last night, that i was going to clean something every time i had a craving. he seemed convinced that i would run out of things to clean. after vacuuming today (this is usually kurt’s job), i realized that as long as we have black-haired animals, i will never run out of things to clean.
yesterday, i cleaned out about 40 bottles of condiments, salsas, ketchup, sauces, dips, and other assorted crap from the fridge.
expired
oh, and also, these last five days have been surprisingly easy. aside from me becoming a more aggressive and impatient driver, i haven’t noticed any other bad things. it makes me wonder… i won’t get cocky about it ever tho. that helps no one.

problem to solve

so it’s been a measley not-even-four days and it’s not too bad. i did have a craving after lunch today, cuz i was out at a work conference, and had just eaten and was getting ready to leave. i normally would have really enjoyed a cigarette walking to my car, but i saw two people outside smoking and i thought they looked pathetic.
so now i’m sitting at home waiting for the next dog walk and i had another craving, so i decided to go to woodman’s. i’m sitting here again because i can get to and from woodman’s in 20 minutes, including shopping; and i want a cigarette.
i think i’ll clean out the fridge. we have condiments from before we moved.